I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a year and a half now, but I’m starting to worry that things are winding down. We don’t spend as much time together anymore and it feels like things are falling apart. How can I tell if our relationship is over?
Lars, I feel you. It sucks when it seems that a relationship is coming to an end, especially if you’ve been with that person for a long time.
So here are some signs that your relationship might be over to look out for.
If you lived together before, are you still living together? If she wakes up and you’re in her house taking a shit, is she going to freak out or go get breakfast?
It’s important to be honest with yourself about the answer to that question.
Is she currently fucking anyone else? I mean currently, as in right now. If you’re reading this on a laptop, and you look over and another guy is balls deep inside her, that’s a bad sign.
It probably means that you’re not dating anymore. I know it’s hard to hear, and it might be hard to accept that something as innocuous as another guy plowing your girlfriend could mean your relationship is over, but the truth is hard to hear sometimes.
Alright, I’m bored with this conceit so it’s probably time to get to the real advice.
Lars, this is going to depend a lot on how you’re feeling and how you feel about the relationship, and the only way for you to get good answers is if you’re 100% honest with yourself.
Don’t think about things as they were, or think about things as you wish they could be, think about things as they are now. As always, if a question makes you feel uneasy or get a tight feeling in your stomach, that’s a sign that you have to really think about the answer, because it’s probably not what you want.
So first off… how do you feel when you think about her? Does thinking about her make you feel good, happy, and relaxed? Or do you feel bad and uncomfortable when you think about her?
This might seem like a simple question, but it’s actually hugely important. If when you think about her and your relationship you feel negative feelings instead of positive ones, it’s a sign that things might be winding down between you.
Do you like spending time together? Do you see spending time with her as a priority, or as an obligation?
Again, if you’re in a relationship with this person, you should enjoy spending time with her. That’s kind of the whole point of a relationship. If you’re not enjoying spending time with her, why are you even with her?
Are you having sex much anymore? Sex tends to slow down after the initial honeymoon phase of a relationship, but if your sex has pretty much completely dried up then that’s a bad sign for the future of the relationship.
Finally, how much fun do you have together? How much do you laugh together? How much do you enjoy each other?
Really think about those questions, and answer them honestly. If you’re feeling uncomfortable about them, then explore those feelings.
They’re going to give you the answer better than I ever could.
Anyone ever been in a relationship that went on too long? Got any horrible breakup stories to scare the shit out of Lars? Leave ’em below.