Whenever I’m talking to a woman I have no idea how to tell whether she’s into me or not. I’m always too nervous to flirt with a woman because I don’t know whether she’s flirting with me. How can I tell if she’s flirting with me and what should I do when she is?
First of all, are you Eric Hosmer, catcher for the Kansas City Royals? If you are, you should probably know when a woman’s flirting with you, as you’re a major league baseball player and have women throwing themselves at your feet. Second, you f*cked my fantasy baseball team in 2012, and I hate you.
You’re probably not Eric Hosmer though. That first part was just in case. F*ck you Eric Hosmer.
Alright Eric, so let’s go through the signs that a woman is flirting with you?
Her body temperature rises slightly
Her vagina begins to moisten imperceptibly
Her pupils dilate between 5 and 10 millimeters
Her voice pitch changes by the smallest fraction of an octave
She forcibly shoves your cock in her mouth
That’s it! Those are the signs that a woman is flirting with you! Go forth and slay pussy, Eric. You deserve it.
*Takes phone call* “What? You mean I have to give real advice? F*ck that. You’re going to stop paying me? ugh. fine.”
Fine.Whatever. Here’s some good advice about flirting. I hope you’re f*cking happy Eric.
So you want to know how to tell whether a woman is flirting with you. I’m assuming that’s because you think if she’s flirting with you, that means she’s interested in you, and if she’s not flirting with you, it means she’s not.
Eric, do you know what a false dichotomy is? You probably don’t, as you’re a f*cking simpleton who ruins peoples’ fantasy baseball teams for no reason.
A false dichotomy is a mistake in logic where you force yourself to pick between one of two false options, neither of which is correct.
Flirting isn’t going to seal the deal with any woman. A woman can be interested in you without flirting with you, and a woman can flirt with you without being interested in you. Don’t focus on it. It doesn’t help.
The truth is, if your goal is to sleep with a woman you’re talking to, you’ve already f*cked up. If you’re trying to figure out whether she’s flirting with you to try to figure out if you have a chance to sleep with her, you’ve f*cked up again.
Why? Well, because women don’t like it when a guy makes sleeping with her a ‘goal’. If you’ve got an agenda about what you want to do with this woman, she’s going to be able to sense it, and it’s going to kill her attraction. No woman wants a guy whose obvious and only goal is to sleep with her.
So what do women want? They want a guy who makes them feel comfortable. Who makes them feel good when they’re around him. Who doesn’t give off creepy vibes of having an agenda, and just feels genuinely good to be around.
Well, how do you do that? It’s pretty simple, Eric. Just focus all your attention into being in a good mood around a woman you’re interested in. Make sure to keep yourself in a genuinely happy mood, and drop negative thoughts out of your head. Focus on feeling relaxed, comfortable, and happy when you’re around her.
This is going to make her more attracted to you than any amount of flirting ever could. When you’re in a genuinely good mood, it feels genuinely good to be around you. Plus, if she’s not getting any negative or creepy vibes from you, it’s going to make her feel comfortable. And women don’t f*ck guys they don’t feel comfortable around.
So that’s it! It doesn’t matter whether she’s flirting with you or not. When you force yourself to think that way, it kills your chances with a lot of women. So forget about flirting, and just focus on being in a good mood. Everything else will flow naturally.
Got any good flirting stories? Know where Eric Hosmer lives? Want to go egg his house? Let me know below.