I work with a cute girl in my office I’ve liked for a while. We have lunch and get along and have fun together. Well, I finally asked her out and she said yes. Except, she flaked. I figured something happened and I shot her a text. No response. Now, she’s not speaking to me at work. How do I fix this and make sure things aren’t awkward at work? Would bringing it up to her make me seem needy? Why do women flake?
Well, why do you think she flaked on you?
It’s because you suck, right? Because you’re not a worthwhile guy? Because she talked to her friends and they saw your picture and said ‘eeeeewwwwww, why would you go on a date with him!?” Because you blew it with your text message? Because you acted creepy towards her at work? Because you’re repulsive to her?
Because her house burned down? Because she got drafted into the army and shipped overseas? Because her alien mother ship called her back and now she’s going back to her home planet?
Nah. It’s none of those reasons. The ones in the last paragraph are about as likely as the ones in the first paragraph.
I don’t know why she flaked on you. You don’t either. She really could be a secret government spy!
Why Did She Really Stand You Up On A Date?
Let’s look at why you feel so bad she flaked on you though. Really think about it. Why do you feel so bad?
“Well,” you say to me looking at me as if I’m the dumbest person on the planet, “I feel bad because I’m disappointed she didn’t show up to our date, and I don’t know why. Duh.”
That last part is important (not duh). You don’t know why she flaked on your date… so why are you assuming that it’s something you did? Why are you assuming that she didn’t show up because of something about you?
That’s what I’m driving at with my stupidly obvious questions. (duh)
All the energy you’re spending trying to figure out why she flaked on you, it’s all f*cking wasted. The fact that you’re second guessing yourself or feeling bad about yourself because she didn’t show up to a date is exactly what’s holding you back with women.
The Zen Of Being Way More Attractive To Women
You wanted her to show up to the date, and when she didn’t it hurt your ego. Let’s look at the mechanics of that.
You want X action from her, and if you don’t get it, you feel bad.
That’s what it is in its simplest form. In fact, if you take a look at a lot of how you relate to women, that’s what you’re going to find way down at the deepest level of it.
And that’s exactly what’s holding you back.
If you need a reaction from her in order to feel good about yourself (or not feel bad about yourself), she’s going to be able to sense it. Trust me, she will. Women are f*cking great at sniffing that out.
If she feels like you need her to do something in order for you to feel good about yourself, it’s going to turn her off.
Women don’t want a guy who needs validation from them. They want a guy who feels good with or without them. Who honestly doesn’t give a sh*t whether she showed up or not, except to note “Hmm that’s rude” if she flakes.
Take this to heart: if you can focus all your energy on just not giving a sh*t, and feeling happy and relaxed no matter what she (or anyone else) throws your way, you’re going to come off as much more attractive to women.
more: Why Do Women Flake?
So What Should You Do Now?
So what should you do at work? Nothing! Act like it didn’t affect you at all, like you couldn’t care any less whether she showed up or not. If she approaches you and apologizes for flaking, act like it was no big deal.
She needs to see that you’re good with yourself no matter whether she showed up or not. If she senses that you got down on yourself and felt bad because she didn’t show up, it’ll kill her attraction to you in a heartbeat.
But if she senses that you were good either way, it’s going to turn her on. “Why didn’t he get upset that I flaked on him?” she’ll wonder. “Does he care about me? I thought he did… I should suck his dick to find out.”
Well, maybe not that last part. But you get the idea. Just drop the idea that her flaking means anything about you, and focus your energy on being comfortable and happy no matter what life throws your way.
She’ll dig it.
Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments if I’m a dick (or a genius!) (or both!)