My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me and I feel that it was practically out of the blue. I didn’t realize that she has been so unhappy all this time and I suspect there’s another guy in the picture, although she denies it. I feel awful because on one hand I love her and want our relationship back, but on the hand I am so angry. What do I do to fix it?
Oh man Karl, I know exactly what you should do. The way I see it, you’ve only got one option.
That’s right. Murder-suicide.
Just kidding. That sucks Karl. Sorry you got dumped. Don’t kill her. Don’t kill yourself either.
You feel like sh*t right now, I get it. You’re pissed at her for dumping you, you’re suspicious and angry that she might have cheated no you, and you’re depressed because you’re alone.
But Karl, there’s great parts about being single too! You can sh*t with the door open! You can jerk off whenever you want! You can fantasize about f*cking different women without feeling guilty! You actually can f*ck different women without feeling guilty!
Wondering if she cheated on you or not is going to get you nowhere. She dumped you, your relationship is over. Why would you waste energy thinking about what might have happened during it? It’s a total waste of your time.
Sure, it might seem like it feels good to imagine whether she cheated on you or not, and fantasize about calling her out on it if she did. But that doesn’t actually feel good – it feels like sh*t. The only part that feels good is when you stop thinking about it and feel relieved.
So quit that sh*t. It ain’t helping. All it does is make you into an angrier and more negative person.
Instead of taking that energy and wasting it, why not put it into making yourself feel better? Do you know what the best way to feel better after a breakup is? it’s making yourself into a better person.
Go to the gym! Get back into hobbies that you let fall by the wayside! Was there something you love to do, but she didn’t like it, so you didn’t do it as much while you were with her? do the sh*t out of that thing.
Get back to being a version of yourself that you love, that you’re happy with. Improve your fitness. Learn a new skill. Do what makes you happy.
Sh*t, forget any of that other stuff. Just do what makes you happy.
She’s not going to come back to you if you’re all whiney and mopey about her and sh*t. Know what would actually get her interested in you again? If you got back to the person you were at the beginning of your relationship.
The person who was probably in better shape than you are now (probably). The person who did the sh*t he liked to do, because he liked to do it. The person who was comfortable and happy with his life. Be that person again.
All women are attracted to a guy who’s happy, and comfortable, and in a genuinely good mood. Women love it when a guy does exactly what he wants to do, and doesn’t try to be something he’s not.
What can you do to “fix” your situation? Nothing, you schmuck. It sucks to be heartbroken, but it doesn’t last forever.
Be heartbroken, mourn your relationship for a while, sure. It will help for you to process the grief that your relationship has ended.
But when you feel up for it, start doing things that make you happy, and start trying to improve yourself. You’ll be shocked at how quickly you feel better about yourself.
more: How To Get Over Your Ex
Plus, you’ll be shocked at how quickly other women start to become interested in you. If you just mope around all day and think about how your ex probably cheated on you, it’s going to drive all the women in your life far far away from you. No woman wants to be around that kind of energy.
But if you put in time to improve yourself and have a good time, they’ll flock to you. Maybe even your ex.
Although truth be told, you probably don’t want to get back together with your ex. She broke up with you for a reason, and 99% of the time, the best strategy is to move on.
But if you’re really truly hung up on her, and you truly want her back (loser), the best way to do that is to be open to dating other women.
If hearing about you with another woman doesn’t make her realize that she wants you back, then nothing will. There’s no greater motivator than jealousy.
But that shouldn’t be your goal. Right now, you’ve got one goal: feel better. The best way to do that is properly mourn your relationship, then focus on improving yourself and doing things that make you feel good, and only doing that.
You’ll feel better in no time.
Were you the one who f*cked Karl’s ex? Got a terrible breakup story of your own to share? Leave it below!