How Do I Keep Her Interested In Me?

I’m worried that as I keep dating my girlfriend she’s going to lose interest in me. Things are alright now… but what if she starts losing interest in me and cheats on me or something? How can I keep her interested in me so that she won’t leave me?

Sam K.

Sam, there’s a very simple and easy way to make sure a woman never loses interest in you. Are you ready?

First, you’ve gotta find out who this woman loves most in the world. I’m talking the person that they couldn’t live without, the person that they would unquestioningly lay down their lives for. It could be a mother, father, best friend, hell even a pet. Whoever they care about most in the world.

Next, you’ve gotta kidnap that person.

more: Why Did She Lose Interest In Me?

Keep them somewhere where they’re not going to be found, by your girlfriend or police or anybody. This person is now your trump card. They’re your backup plan.

If you ever feel like your girlfriend is losing interest in you, you need to send her a piece of your “trump card”. Finger, toe, elbow, I don’t give a f*ck, just a piece.

Then, you need to make sure that your girlfriend knows that the “hostage taker” is demanding that she spend more time with her boyfriend, and that if she does he won’t hurt the hostage anymore.

more: What To Do If She’s Losing Interest In You

boom. She’ll be draped over you like… drapes. She’ll never leave you because she’ll be worried about the person she cares about the most, and meanwhile you’re sitting pretty in the catbird seat.

#trumpcard.

Plus, once you become the person she cares about the most, you can *dispose* of your original trumpcard and let her actions speak for themselves. Easy as pie!

Or you could just let it the f*ck go.

more: If You’re Stressed And She’s Losing Interest Here’s What To Do

I’ll tell you what’s not going to help her keep her interest in you: worrying about whether she’s losing interest in you. (How’s that for a terribly written convoluted sentence?)

The point is, she’s going to feel the way she’s going to feel, and you can’t control that. If you try to control it, you’re going to wind up driving her away from you even more. You can’t control the way another person feels without violating their agency and ruining your relationship with them.

more: Why Do Women Cheat

So what can you do? Simple! Focus on keeping you happy.

Everyone likes to be around a person who’s living life on their terms, in a good mood, and enjoying themselves. So that’s what you should focus on doing.

Don’t worry about trying to keep her interested in you, or trying to look for nitty gritty “signs” that she’s going to lose interest in you, or you’ll drive yourself and her crazy and wind up pushing her away from you.

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Instead, live your life the way you want to live it! Enjoy the sh*t out of your hobbies. Spend your days as you want to spend them, and make sure that you stay in a good mood as much of the time as possible.

That kind of attitude is addictive, and it will make her want to be around you. It’ll actually make her more and more interested in you as time goes on, because she’ll want to constantly be around someone who makes her feel good all the time.

more: How To Keep Her Interested For As Long As You Want

The truth is, as long as you stop worrying about whether she loses interest in you or not, and focus on just being as happy as you can be in the meantime, your problem is going to disappear.

So quit worrying! Smoke some f*cking weed for god’s sake and chill the f*ck out. *does not constitute advice do not smoke weed if it’s illegal unless you’re the coolest dude in school*

more: How To Keep A Woman Interested

Anyone have any advice for Sam to get him to stop worrying? What should he be doing instead? Leave ’em below.

And as always, if you’ve got any questions, send ’em here and I’ll answer them with a maximum amount of condescension and insults.

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