I want to text a woman I know and ask her out. How do I do that?
ok, this is really, really complicated, so you need to bear with me. It’s going to be emotionally strenuous reading through this post, and you’re going to have to confront some demons that you probably wish has remained buried, but this is the only way for you to come through to the other side.
What I’m saying is, you must trust me.
Are you ready? Let’s begin.
Step 1. Pull out your phone.
Step 2.Type in a question asking her out on a date into a text.
Step 3. Send the text.
holy shit. Are you still there Adam? Oh, thank god. I thought we lost you somewhere in the middle. That was horribly difficult. I’m glad you’re still with us, and I’m glad we got through this together.
What I’m mocking, of course, is how stupid and undeveloped Adam’s question is. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t use it to illustrate a larger point about the best way to ask a woman out.
Adam, I don’t know how well you know this woman. I don’t know if you’re friends, acquaintances, if she even knows who you are, if you stole her phone number while she was sleeping and are going to text her out of the blue… what. I don’t know any of that shit, because you didn’t tell me.
Luckily, most of these are going to get the same answer. And if you did steal her phone number, what the fuck is wrong with you dude, also how did you steal it no particular reason just curious.
So you’re interested in this woman, and we’ll say you’ve met her a few times, but you don’t really know each other all that well.
If you want to know how to ask her out over text, then here’s how to do it:
Just ask her out, you fucking coward.
Don’t pussyfoot around it. Don’t ask her if she “might” want to “go out” with you sometime. Don’t make her do the work of planning, don’t be shy, don’t be nervous, don’t be hesitant.
Be bold. Fucking go for it.
If you’ve never texted her before, send her a text that tells her A. you’re interested in her and B. asks her if she’s interested in doing a specific, concrete activity with you at a specific, concrete time.
Don’t ask if she wants to do “something” “sometime”. Instead, ask her if she wants to get Mexican food at 7pm on Friday. Or if she wants to go for a hike with you in X nature preserve on Sunday at 11 am.
Don’t be hesitant. This is about you specifically stating what you want (aka, to spend more time with her in a 1 on 1 setting), and asking her if she’s also interested.
That’s it. That’s as complicated as it needs to be. Either she’s into it, or she isn’t. But I can tell you one thing: she’s much more likely to be interested in going out with you if you’re decisive, bold, and give her a definite plan, than if you give her some mealymouthed maybe sometime we should see each other.
There. A stupid question gets a short answer. Hope you enjoyed it, Adam.
Anyone else want to take a crack at Adam’s dumb question? Ever ask a woman out over text and have it backfire? Leave ’em below.
And as always, if you’ve got any questions, send ’em here and I’ll answer them with a maximum amount of condescension and insults.