Q: I’ve liked this girl in my class for a while. We talk frequently and have even been in group projects together. Whenever we talk she seems pretty into me and what I am saying, but I want to ask her out and want to do it in a way that will make her say yes. How do I ask her out?
Alright John, this is going to take a bit of preparation, but the end result is definitely going to be worth it.
First, you have to get your entire class in on it. Block the girl you like’s door so that she can’t get out for the day, and then at class that day explain your plan. You want everyone in on singing an a capella version of “Bad Medicine” by Bon Jovi.
When she walks in the door, everyone should bust out singing that song as loud as they can. You should be naked at the front of the classroom, obviously. Here’s where the alligator you hired to wrestle comes in. You did hire an alligator, right John.
God damnit John.You f*cked it all up.God.Damnit.
Ok, so obviously getting your entire class to sing to this girl is a horrible idea. But do you know why (besides the fact that it’s flat out horrible)?
It’s because grand gestures never work. If your plan is to make some big grand gesture to her to get her to say yes, you’re making a huge f*cking mistake. Even making it into any kind of gesture at all is a mistake.
Here’s why: if she says no, your humiliation is going to exist in proportion to how big of a deal you made of asking her out. In simple terms (I don’t know why I just made it so f*cking complicated), if you make asking her out into a big deal, and she shoots you down, it’s going to be way more humiliating than if you kept it casual.
Women don’t want to be put on the spot. They don’t want that pressure, and they definitely don’t want to humiliate you. That’s sh*tty for both people. You want to make this the least amount of sh*tty for her as possible John. That means no alligator wrestling.
The more you build this up in your mind, the more pressure you’re going to feel, and the more you’re going to f*ck up your vibe towards her.
more: How To Ask A Woman Out
Basically, what you should be going for is a vibe that says “I’m relaxed, I’m in a good mood, I’m happy with myself, and I’m good whether you say yes or no. Your answer will have no effect on how I feel about myself.”
She doesn’t want to have to say yes in order for you to feel good about yourself. That puts pressure on her and makes her more turned off, because that at its core is needy behavior. So don’t be a needy asshole, John.
Instead, when you ask her out, ask her as casually as you can. Don’t make it a big deal at all.
You should be confident, bold, and direct with her. Ask her out the same way you would ask a friend to grab a beer. You want to see her in a more intimate setting, and you want to know if she feels the same way about you.
Don’t hesitate, don’t be wishy-washy, and don’t make it a big deal. It’s supposed to be easy, simple, light, and fun. So don’t complicate it!
And don’t think too much about the future either. If you’re already imagining f*cking this girl, or becoming her boyfriend, or having her babies (what the f*ck John) then you’ve already screwed up. Live in the present, not the future.
Focus on what’s happening right now, what’s in front of you. Don’t think about goals and fantasies about the future that you would like to have happen, because that means you won’t be in the here and now.
Remember, you’re going to be fine whether she says yes or no! It’s no reflection on who you are, it’s just how she’s feeling in the moment. And if she feels confident, and feels good vibes coming from you (like that you’re in a good mood), then she’s much more likely to say yes. If she says no, 99% of the time it’s for a reason that has nothing to do with you.
Remember, just let go and keep it casual. That’s the best possible way to ask a girl out.
She’ll still say no because she’s busy f*cking me instead. But at least you won’t get humiliated.
Anyone have any horrible asking a girl out stories? Ever have things go really right? Let me know below.