I’ve read about how I’m supposed to have good body language in order to attract women, but I don’t really know what that means. I guess I don’t have good body language because women aren’t attracted to me? How can I have good body language?
Alright Justin, listen up. There’s a simple key to body language, and you’re going to learn it.
Over the eons of human development, women have evolved to judge men on one thing and one thing only: body language. The problem is, the actual details of the language have been lost to time thousands of years ago.
The ancients knew the secrets of the “body language”, but they were sworn to secrecy, as the language was so powerful that if it was ever discovered by someone unpure of heart it could destroy the world.
The truth is, whoever knows the body language knows how to control the people. When you know the body language, all you have to do is speak it to someone and you’ll be able to have complete control over their body.
That’s what body language means.
Some whisper that the last secrets of the body language were burned in the Library of Alexandria thousands of years ago. Some say that they were lost forever when the Native Americans were destroyed by the colonizers. Some say that the secrets will never be found.
I say hogwash.
If you venture into the Marianas Trench, deeper into the ocean than anyone has ever delved before, you will find a door. This door has no business at the immense pressures created by the miles and miles of water above your head, but there it will sit. This is where you must trust me.
You must open the door of the marvelous magical vehicle that you have used to venture to this depth. If you are pure of heart and pure of intention you will not be destroyed. Step through the door.
*waits for a while until Justin leaves*
Did he do it? Oh my god he did it didn’t he. Troll’d. That dude is dead right now.
Hahaha I caused someone’s death with my terrible advice. wouldn’t be the first time.
Anyway, there’s a couple super simple ways to immediately improve your body language. I’m not even f*cking with you this time.
The first is controlling your mood. This is gonna get complicated, so stick with me:
Good mood = good body language.
Bad mood = bad body language.
Feel free to take as much time as you need with that section until it sinks in.
But yeah, that’s the best method. Since you’re already going to become more attractive to women if you’re in a good mood, this should be a no brainer. So get in a genuinely good mood and your body language will automatically improve.
The second one is more of a trick, but it works just as well.
Imagine someone you look up to, like a celebrity or an athlete or even the man you wish you could be, and imagine how they would act and how they would carry themselves. Then, copy that body language.
Basically, imagine you are that person. If you can do that, you’ll automatically take on their body language, and it’ll be positive, attractive, good body language to everyone around you.
Hooray! Easy tricks that actually… y’know, work! Who’dathunk.
Who would you think about to improve your body language? Mine’s Stephen Hawking. Leave yours below.
And as always, if you’ve got any questions, send ’em here and I’ll answer them with a maximum amount of condescension and insults.