Whenever I’m out in public or at a bar, it seems like women never approach me. I’m always the one who has to go up to women and talk to them. I want women to approach and start flirting with me more, how do I do that?
You know why women don’t approach you Hank? It’s because your name is Hank.
It’s sad but true. Men named Hank are simply unapproachable. It’s been that way since the dawn of time, and it will continue for the rest of your life.
You will never have the feeling of having a woman come up to you in a public setting and start a conversation. You’ll never know how sweet it feels to be pursued, instead of pursue.
Instead, you’ll spend the rest of your sad, lonely existence in a bubble of isolation, that causes the women you want to flee you like you’re made of dead kittens and mung.
Poor Hank. It’s not your fault. The intergalactic council of elders decided upon the famous “Hank Law” eons before you were even born, and you just have to grin and bear it.
Or you could change your name.
I’m going to operate under the assumption that you changed your name to something less cosmically cursed, like Chunderf*ck.
Listen Chunderf*ck, getting women to approach you isn’t that difficult, although it will require you to take a hard look at yourself.
Here’s what you’ve got working against you: in our society, it’s customary for the man to approach the woman. That’s what we’re shown in movies, on tv, in books, in history books, in the sex tape I made with your mother, all of it.
Our culture makes the assumption that the man is going to approach the woman, and that if the woman approaches the man something extraordinary has taken place.
That sucks, but it’s totally not insurmountable. Women approach men all the time. It just explains why from your perspective it happens pretty rarely.
So what makes a woman want to approach a man? Simple. It’s the same thing that controls how attractive you are to women: your mood.
If you make an effort to be in a genuinely good mood whenever you’re around people you want to meet, it’s going to make it much easier for them to get to know you and get to like you.
That’s because people like hanging out with other people who are in a good mood. It makes them feel good. This is pretty obvious.
Think about it this way: let’s say you were making the choice of who to approach at a bar. On the one hand, you have one woman who’s ridiculously hot, but seems like she’s in a terrible mood. She’s scowling, snapping at the bartender, making disgusted noises, and generally seems like she’s super pissed off about something.
On the other hand, you have a woman who’s not as attractive as the first woman, but she’s in a great mood. She’s laughing, making jokes with the bartender, smiling at everyone around her, and generally being a magnet for fun and good times.
Which one are you going to want to approach?
that’s what i f*cking thought, chunderf*ck. that’s why i constructed this sh*tty scenario that way, so that it would be easy to pick.
But yeah, women are going to want to approach you more if you’re in a good mood.
Another thing you can do is use something called ‘social proof’ to your advantage.
“Uhhhh what does social proof mean?” you ask, while shoving your car’s dipstick deeply into your urethra.
Social proof is a pretty broad concept, but in this specific scenario what I’m going to talk about is what being with friends says about you in a public setting. Even better, what being with female friends says about you.
If you’re out at the bar with a couple women who you’re friendly with, it’s going to make you hugely more approachable to other women. Other women will be able to see that there are women out there who can stand you, and thus you’re probably not violent or psychotic or a men’s rights activist, and thus that you’re a safe person to talk to.
That’s going to increase your chances of women approaching you the same way that improving your mood will. It’s all about signaling that 1. You’re a fun loving guy who makes the people around him feel good and have a good time, and 2. You’re not going to kill them and wear their face as a condom.
You’re not going to do that, are you Chunderf*ck? Nah, probably not.
Anyone got any stories about being approached first at the bar? Or advice for Chunderf*ck? Or is your name Hank? Leave ’em below.
And as always, if you’ve got any questions, send ’em here and I’ll answer them with a maximum amount of condescension and insults.