I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years, and I’m devastated. I can’t stop thinking about her all the time, and although I know things are over between us, I don’t want anyone else. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone either. Will I ever want anyone else? When will I be ready to date another woman?
That sucks Anthony. I’m sorry to hear it. I know you can’t get her out of your mind, and I don’t blame you.
To have images of her running through your head seemingly 24/7… to imagine her meeting some new guy, laughing with him, going on dates with him, falling in love with him…
Taking a load to the face with him… being throat f*cked by him… going ass to mouth with him… I’m sure it’s all very upsetting.
Oh, you didn’t want to think about those things? My bad Anthony. My bad.
It sucks, no two ways about it. I could give you clichés, like there are plenty of fish in the sea, or that you’re better off with someone who wants to be with you, or that you should remember the good times with her… but that’s not why you’re here. You’re here for me to tell you to imagine her washing some other dude’s cum out of her hair.
No! Jesus! Sorry, instincts got the better of me.
You’re here because you don’t know what to do next, and it feels like you’re drowning. that I get.
I know that right now you don’t even want to meet any other women. You can’t stop thinking about your ex, so why should you try to meet someone else right away?
And that I totally understand. So my advice to you is: don’t.
Don’t go out looking for a new woman to hook up with. It’s true that one of the best ways to get over a breakup is to f*ck someone new, but you don’t sound like you’re ready, and I’m not going to tell you to do something you’re not ready to do.
So what should you do in the meantime?
The first step is to cut off contact with her. She doesn’t want to be in your life, and it’s too painful for her to be in yours. Delete her number if you have to: it’s just not worth it to keep in contact with her.
Then the best thing to do is focus on yourself.
Do you have a hobby that for whatever reason you didn’t do in the relationship? Throw yourself into that. Did you slack off or stop going to the gym (or never went in the first place)? Take all your frustration and funnel it into effort at the gym.
Put time into improving yourself and doing what makes you happy. Not only will it take your mind off the pain of the breakup, it’ll also make you feel better and make you look better. When your body feels good, your mind feels good.
Really, you should be doing whatever you want to do – that makes you feel good while you’re doing it. One of the biggest changes after a breakup is that you suddenly have all this free time on your hands that you didn’t have before. Put it to good use!
After a while of doing the things you enjoy doing and improving yourself, you’re going to start to feel better. That’s just human nature. Time heals all wounds and stupid clichéd sh*t like that.
You might still not feel ready to date someone new, but you might be interested in getting your dick wet. If you don’t want to f*ck someone without being up front with them, it’s totally kosher to tell someone “Look, I just got out of a really long term relationship, I’m not looking for anything serious right now.” Women will respect your honesty (and probably be excited to heal your wounded puppy soul with some magic vagina loving.)
It’s not reasonable to expect to jump right into another serious, committed relationship, so take it slow. Baby steps. Focus on yourself and getting your body and head right, then when it feels right, start thinking about other women again.
Just don’t think of some guy spraying a load into your ex’s eye. That’s going to make you feel like sh*t.
Anyone have awful breakup stories? Think I was a dick to Anthony? (I probably was). Leave ’em below.