I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 9 months now and I’m not sure if we should stay together or break up. I’m feeling torn, on the one hand I miss being single but on the other hand there’s a lot of good things about our relationship too. What should I do?
Grant, you should absolutely not break up with her. If you do, then all the pleasure she gets from how “naughty” it is that she’s cheating on you with me will be gone, and the sex will get worse. And really, with your girlfriend, the “it’s wrong” angle is the only thing keeping that sex interesting.
I’m kidding of course. If I wasn’t kidding I’d tell you to break up with her, because, y’know, she’s f*cking another dude (me). But she’s not f*cking me. As far as you know.
Anyway, 9 months is a pretty good time to take stock of a relationship. You’ve been together long enough to get comfortable with each other, and yet you still haven’t been together long enough for it to automatically be super serious just from longevity.
From the tone of your question, it’s clear to me that you’re a squealing manbaby who doesn’t want to take responsibility for his own decisions, and decides to foist them off on someone with so much less information than himself, in the hopes that he doesn’t have to shoulder any blame for what happens.
Great news! I’m like that too. F*ck responsibility, amirite?
The reason why I’m mocking you (other than all of the normal ones) is that you’re the only person who has the information required to make this decision. I don’t know you. I don’t know your girlfriend (we don’t talk, we just f*ck and then she’s out the door). I don’t know what your relationship is like.
You’re the only one that knows that.
So you’re the only one who’s in the position to make the call on this.
That being said, here’s some food for thought:
Do you feel like you can be yourself around her? Like, do you have to censor the things you say, or not do the things you want to do because she’s around you?
I’m not talking about farting in front of her or sh*tting with the door open either. I’m talking about the things you truly want to do, the things that get you excited. Can you do those things with her or around her? Or does she not like them or limit you from doing them?
The best kinds of relationships are the ones where both parties encourage the other to do the things that truly make them happy. If you don’t feel comfortable doing the things that make you happy around her, then it might be time to move on.
When you think about a future with her, how does it make you feel?
This is a bit of a loaded question. It’s natural to feel a bit nervous about committing to someone. A little bit of anxiety is ok.
But if you feel a massive pit in your stomach that says “uh oh” whenever you think about a real future with this woman… then that’s a problem. That’s your instincts telling you that you might not be on the right path.
more: How To Get Your Ex Back
Follow your instincts. They’re a pretty f*cking good guide.
Do you enjoy spending time with her?
I mean really enjoy it. Not just the sex, or the fact that you “have a girlfriend”, I mean do you actually enjoy the time you spend with her? If you do, great! You should probably stick with it. If you like spending time with someone even after 9 months then that says a lot.
If you don’t like spending time with her anymore, then why are you with her?
Again, these are only a few guidelines. You’re going to have to make your own decision on this one, and it’s going to have to come from inside you. I can’t give you the answer like I give your girlfriend my dick. It just doesn’t work that way.
Whatever you do, think hard and think honestly, and then make your decision. Don’t pussyfoot and then make her break up with you. Pick whether you really want to be with her, or you really don’t, and then act accordingly.
Anyone have any advice for Grant? Got an ex you regret breaking up with? Or someone you should’ve broken up with sooner? Leave ’em below.
And as always, if you’ve got any questions, send ’em here and I’ll answer them with a maximum amount of condescension and insults.