I’m recently divorced, and I’m trying to get back into the dating game… so I’m going to bars and clubs to meet women, and I hate it. I don’t know where to meet the kind of women I want, and I really don’t like going to bars and clubs. What should I do?
I don’t know Tom, what should you do? I mean, bars and clubs are literally the only place to meet women. Since the “Bar and Club” act was passed through Congress in 2009, women are only legally allowed to be in bars and clubs. I guess you’re f*cked.
C’mon Tom. You don’t have to go to a bar or a club to meet a woman. In fact, bars and clubs are actually terrible places to meet women.
The music is loud. The drinks are expensive. Women are expecting to be hit on, so their defenses are up. You’re competing against every other guy in the bar. She’s probably there with her friends and is worried about what they think of her. She’s going to be on her guard about men hitting on her.
They’re the worst places to hit on women, bar none. Well, except for like, I don’t know, the middle of a funeral. Don’t hit on women in the middle of a funeral either.
Do you want to know what makes it the hardest to hit on woman at a bar? Well if you don’t, you’re sh*t out of luck, because I’m about to tell you.
She’s expecting you to hit on her.
She’s expecting you to be interested in f*cking her, and she’s expecting you to have the goal of sleeping with her.
That’s automatically going to put her on her guard against you. She’s not going to be able to be comfortable around you, because she’s starting with the assumption that your goal is to f*ck her.
That’s a terrible start. When a woman can sense you have a ‘goal’ about her, it turns her off more than anything. It tells her that you need her to act a certain way in order to be happy with yourself, and it kills your vibe, energy, and attractiveness.
And at a bar, that’s what she’s going to assume first. F*cked up, right?
The truth is, you should be glad that you don’t like going to bars to meet women. They’re terrible places to meet women.
“So where should I go? “ you bellow through a mouthful of stale bread and flat seltzer water, “I don’t know where to meet women!”
Tom, I’m going to drop some f*cking #math on your skull. There are 7 billion people in the world. That means there are exactly 3.5 billion women in the world. These numbers are very exact. I am very good at math.
There are so many women out there. There are women at the grocery store. There are women at the post office. There are women on the street. There are women in parks. There are women playing sports. There are women at the morgue. (Don’t try to meet women at the morgue. F*ck’s wrong with you?)
The truth is, there are women everywhere you go. One out of every two people is a woman (statistically true!) You’re going to find women everywhere.
So what’s the best place for you to go and meet women?
Well, like I’ve said before, women are attracted to guys who are calm, comfortable, and in a good mood. If you’re in a genuinely good mood, women are going to be way more attracted to you all the time.
So the best place for you to meet women is a place where you feel calm, comfortable, and in a good mood.
This is a great time to think about what you’re passionate about. What do you genuinely like to do? If you weren’t reading this stupid f*cking advice column and you were doing literally whatever you wanted, what would you be doing? Think about it.
ok, great! Take that thing and go do it. Go do it with a group of people who like doing it, or do it out in the real world around other people. Do it and genuinely enjoy doing it. Have a great time. Be in the moment. Don’t worry about trying to meet women and focus on having a great time.
Oh, what’s that Tom? You naturally met women while you were doing that? No f*cking way! Must’ve been pretty good advice huh?
more: How To Meet Women
All you’ve got to do is be open to meeting new women while you’re doing something you already like to do. It’s that simple. Just stay out of the f*cking morgue.
Did you meet your current wife in a morgue? Are you in a morgue right now??!? Do you have a question or a comment about something I said? Let me know!