Why Did She Lose Interest In Me?

I went on 3 dates with this woman, and things seemed to be going great. She was the one calling me first and pushing for new dates, so I thought she was really interested in me. Then she stopped calling or responding to my texts. Why did she drop me all of a sudden?

Perry W.

Well Perry, there are approximately sixty eight billion reasons she could have stopped texting you, give or take. And today, we’re going to list every single one of them!

We’ve got all the space on the internet! Let’s think about this seriously: if, say, each reason is an average of 10 words long, that means that to list all of them I’d have to type about 680,000,000,000 words. And if I’m typing at 80 words per minute (blazing fast bitches), I would be done in approximately…

Doing math…

5902777.77 full 24 hour days of writing. Or, to put it another way, 16,172 years of nonstop writing, 24 hours a day.

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Luckily, that’s what my bosses require I do anyway! Joy! Benefits (no benefits)! Hooray!

I’m just kidding. I’m not going to write out 68 billion reasons, because I already know the real reason why she disappeared.

It’s because she got a taste of my sweet D and never wants to go back to a “normal” guy ever again.

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Sorry Perry. I’m f*ckin her on the reg and when I’m done maybe you two can get back together.

Nah, I’m sh*tting you about that too. Obviously.Because I don’t know where you live. Because if I did know where you lived, I’d come over your house and throw a brick through your window for making me list 68 billion reasons why she disappeared.

Or not. That’s some dumb sh*t. I’m bored. Let’s actually just answer your question.

Perry, I’m going to cut to the chase. I don’t know why she cut off contact with you. Neither do you.

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Maybe her ex came back into the picture and she’s spending time with him.

Maybe she decided that she’s not interested in dating men anymore and wants to spend all of her time with women.

Maybe her phone’s broken.

Maybe she unexpectedly went away for a few days and is coming back later this month.

Maybe she had a death in the family and isn’t thinking about dating right now.

Maybe she’s dead.

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Hey, maybe she’s dead! There’s a silver lining for you.

But seriously, you can’t possibly know why she’s not texting back. The only person who can tell you why is her, and she’s not texting you back, because she’s dead.

So for now, the most important thing for you to do is to not take it personally. Repeat after me: “This says nothing about who I really am.”

She could be incommunicado for so many different reasons, and pretty much none of them are about you. They’re all about her, what’s going on in her life, what she wants right now, what she has time for.

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It doesn’t reflect on you one way or the other.

The only thing you should focus on right now is you. If she’s not going to respond to texts, well, that’s fine. You can move on.

You don’t owe her anything, especially if she cut contact. So be open to going on dates with other women. Open up your mind to other possibilities. Put time into doing the things that make you happy.

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That way, when she comes back from her emergency spiritual meeting in Bali, apologizing that she disappeared and asking what you’ve been up to, you can give her an answer that’s not: “sitting by the phone crying wondering why you’re not texting me back”.

Anyone have advice for Perry? Ever have a woman go dark on you only to pop back up unexpectedly later? Leave it below.

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And as always, if you’ve got any questions, send ’em and I’ll answer them with a maximum amount of condescension and insults.

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