How To Figure Out If Your Ex Wants You Back

Me and my girlfriend broke up 3 weeks ago, and I’m having second thoughts. I don’t know whether I want to get back together with her or not… I just can’t decide either way. It would help to know if she wants to get back together with me though… how can I tell if my ex wants to get back together with me?

Lawrence R.

Alright Lawrence, I’m gonna help you. Not because I want to help you, but because I have a perverse desire to punish myself.

I mean, look at that question. Look at that f*cking question. Lawrence, you forgot some basic f*cking information.

Did you break up with her? Did she break up with you? Are you a goat? Did your girlfriend catch you f*cking a goat? Is it ok because you’re both goats and it’s fine for a goat to f*ck another goat? Are you f*cking a goat right now?!?!?

Is your ex-girlfriend a goat, Lawrence?

more: Exactly How To Get Your Ex Back

Anyway, I’m gonna sketch this out under two situations here.

Situation 1: She broke up with you

Lawrence, hate to break it to you buddy, but she probably doesn’t want to get back together with you. Unless she’s specifically said the words: “Lawrence, light of my life, even though you love to f*ck goats I still want to get back into a relationship with you for some reason,” then chances are you’re out of luck.

But hey! That’s not so bad!