Exactly How To Have An Amazing First Date

I’ve had a crush on my co-worker for ages. I finally got the courage to ask her out and she said yes! Now I’m trying to figure out what to do for our first date to keep her interest. How do you keep a girl interested and make a first date memorable?

Hank K.

Hank, I’ve got the perfect plan for you. It’s a recipe for a first date that she will never forget.

First, go to her facebook and get as many of her pictures as you can. Print them all out. For extra points, you can cut out the eyes. That really adds a memorable flair!

Now hang them up all over your apartment and tell her that there’s an emergency and that she needs to come over (women love being lied to!). When she gets there, tell her that your emergency is that there are too many beautiful women staring at you while looking at all the pictures of her hung up around you.

more: How To Avoid An Awkward Silence On A Date

For full effect, you should be wearing adult size onesie pajamas.

Oh wait. That’s actually the worst advice possible. Jesus Christ. What the f*ck is wrong with me.

Alright, so you want to impress this girl on your first date because you’ve liked her forever. You’ve probably built up an image of her in your head that’s unsustainable, but hey! Gotta break up the fantasy sometime!