Whenever I’m out on a date, I’m terrified that I’m not going to know what to say next, and there’s going to be a horrible awkward silence between us. How do I break an awkward silence on a date in a non-awkward way?
Oh man, awkward silences are great! Did you know you can do anything in an awkward silence and it’s legal?
It’s true! (*does not constitute legal advice, I am not a lawyer*)
“Sorry Officer, I know I was going 85 in a 20mph school zone during pickup time, but there was an awkward silence.”
“Sorry Officer, I didn’t mean to do all this cocaine in front of a police station but I was in an awkward silence.”
“Sorry Officer, I know I shouldn’t be d balls deep inside this inflatable lamb on the playground of a preschool while I pay 12 costumed dwarfs to hurl physical and verbal abuse at me, but there was an awkward silence.”
Do you know what the one thing in common is for all three of these scenarios? It’s that the officer will invariably reply:
“Oh, an awkward silence, ok then, that’s alright. Carry on.”