I really want to date this girl I met at work, and I want to impress her so that she wants to go out with me. What’s a great way to impress a woman?
Alright Leroy, f*cking listen up, because you have to follow my instructions to the letter if you’re going to make it out of this alive.
Now, I know you don’t like me, and I sure as f*ck don’t like you. But I don’t want to see you die out there, so we have to work together and we’re going to get through this.
First, do you have your survival gear?
god damnit leroy how do you not have your f*cking survival gear. get your sh*t together.
We’re going to cause a global climate catastrophe the likes of which hasn’t been seen since the ice age. You need to get your weather nuke, and set it off.
i don’t know where to get a weather nuke just f*cking get one leroy jesus god damn tit-sh*tting christ.
Once the earth is covered in snow, she’s going to be on the brink of freezing to death. This is where you come in Leroy.
Use your survival gear to fight through the ice zombies (yes i said f*cking ice zombies) and get to her house. When you get there, get inside and find her. She’ll be impressed that you showed up, but we’re not done yet.