The Fastest Way To Get Over Your Ex

My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me and I feel that it was practically out of the blue. I didn’t realize that she has been so unhappy all this time and I suspect there’s another guy in the picture, although she denies it. I feel awful because on one hand I love her and want our relationship back, but on the hand I am so angry. What do I do to fix it?

Karl P.

Oh man Karl, I know exactly what you should do. The way I see it, you’ve only got one option.

That’s right. Murder-suicide.

Just kidding. That sucks Karl. Sorry you got dumped. Don’t kill her. Don’t kill yourself either.

You feel like sh*t right now, I get it. You’re pissed at her for dumping you, you’re suspicious and angry that she might have cheated no you, and you’re depressed because you’re alone.

more: How To Figure Out If Your Ex Wants You Back

But Karl, there’s great parts about being single too! You can sh*t with the door open! You can jerk off whenever you want! You can fantasize about f*cking different women without feeling guilty! You actually can f*ck different women without feeling guilty!

Wondering if she cheated on you or not is going to get you nowhere. She dumped you, your relationship is over. Why would you waste energy thinking about what might have happened during it? It’s a total waste of your time.